Love the One You Is

Love the One You Is

Love the One You Is!

When we are born, we have an instinctual understanding of some of the most important basics of life.

We instinctively know how to trust our instincts, how to breathe deeply, how to eat only when we’re hungry, how to not care what anyone thinks about our singing voices, dance moves, or hairdos.  We know how to play, create, and love without holding back.

Then as we grow, we replace some of those understandings with false beliefs, fear, shame and self-doubt.

Then we end up in emotional or physical pain, and then we numb our pain with TV, drugs, alcohol, food, or whatever else we can find.  Maybe we settle for mediocrity.

I’m here to tell you that now is the time to relearn everything we knew at the beginning all over again and go for greatness!

We can’t be all that we can be until we reconnect with who we truly are and start investing in what’s true for us so that we can live rich, full, authentic lives.

We arrive here as perfect little bundles of joy, and then set about the task of learning to un-love ourselves!  How unbelievably ridiculous is that!

Imagine what our world would be like if everyone loved themselves so much that we weren’t threatened by other people’s opinions or skin colors, sexual preferences, talents, education, possessions (or lack of), religious beliefs, customs, and on and on and on!

So let’s begin a journey to win ourselves over again.  It’s crucial to everything we are, and everything we want to be:

Appreciate How Special You Are.

There will never be anyone exactly like you.  You were given special gifts and talents.  You have a way of being in the world and a perspective that’s unique to you.  You have created your own unique reality and are living your life according to your own unique path.  You are the only you that will ever be.  You are kind of a big deal!

Drown Yourself in Affirmations.

Affirmations work.  You don’t have to say them in the mirror, or hug yourself, or buy a special rainbow journal with a lock on it to write them down in, but it is critical to rewire your brain and train it to think differently.  Affirmations can do that for you.

Figure out what affirmations you need and repeat them all day long in your head, while in the car, under your breath at work or at the DMV.

Write them on Post-it notes and stick them around your house, on your mirrors, on your refrigerator, in your car.

Write them 10 times every morning and every evening before you go to bed – and say them out loud while you’re writing them.

I have an app on my cell phone called Tell Me Later, which sends me text messages about 10 times/day with my affirmations.

Here are a couple of suggestions.  Pick a couple that work and shower yourself with them all day long:

  • I receive all the good that life has to offer me.
  • I am brilliant, bright, and beautiful.
  • I deserve and receive massive amounts of love all day long.
  • I love how tall I am and I love the size of my butt.
  • Or whatever.  Come up with what works for you.

In the beginning, it may feel like you’re lying to yourself, but the truth is, you’re already living the lie now, so the affirmations will get you back to the truth.

Do the Things You Love

Look at your life and see where you’re letting yourself down.  If you hear yourself saying things like, “I love going out to see live music!  I can’t remember the last time I did it,” then make time!

We’re all busy, but the people who make enjoying their lives a priority, are the ones who enjoy their lives.  Figure out what you love to do, and make the time to do it!

If you’re the kind of person who puts everyone else’s needs first, stop that now!  You aren’t a selfish person for taking care of yourself, just a happier one.  Take care of yourself as if you’re the most awesome person you’ve ever met – because you are!

Find a Replacement.

We’ve gotten used to the negative chatter in our heads so we never think to question them.  But once you become aware of your thought patterns and behaviors you can start changing them.  So start paying attention:

  • What runs through your mind when you look in the mirror?
  • What happens inside you when you see someone totally succeeding at something you’d love to do but have never let yourself try?
  • How do you feel if you get dumped by someone who is totally awesome?  And hot?
  • Or when you leave your coffee on the roof of your car and drive off?
  • Or when you forget your dad’s birthday?

Notice the words that run through your mind when you’re being the most negative, and come up with a new and improved response.

For example, if every time you look in the mirror, your first thought is “yikes,” make a conscious effort to change it to “hi, gorgeous!”

Don’t spend your life clinging to the insulting decisions you’ve made about yourself.  Instead, make the conscious choice to replace them with new and improved ones.

Let the Love In

Receive compliments gracefully instead of countering with a disclaimer such as, “Oh, this ratty old thing?  Try this instead:  “Thank You.”  Period.

Take care of your body too.  It’s so easy to think about all the reasons why we neglect our body.  We don’t have time is probably the most common one and the one I struggle with.

But the truth is we need our bodies.

Say nice things about your body, dress it up, and take it out.  Give it luxurious baths and massages.  Move it, stretch it, nourish it, hydrate it, pay attention to it… The better our bodies feel, the happier and more productive we are.

Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

It’s none of your business what other people are doing.  All that matters is that you’re enjoying yourself and pleased with what you’re creating.  It’s precisely your uniqueness that makes you awesome – deciding that someone else’s uniqueness is better than your own isn’t exactly being your own best buddy about things.  You are more than enough.  Avoid comparison like the plague.

Forgive Yourself.

You have screwed up in the past.  You will screw up again.  Every human is born with the ability to make spectacular mistakes.  You are not alone, and screwing up is not your special skill.  Get over it!  You aren’t a better person for feeling guilty or bad about yourself, just a sadder one.

Think of a specific thing that you did that you feel badly about.  Call it up in your mind and feel it in your body.  Repeat the following over and over while thinking of it and really feel what you’re saying to yourself:

Holding on to my feelings about this is doing nothing but harming me, and everyone else, and preventing me from enjoying my life fully.  I am an awesome person.  I choose to enjoy my life.  I choose to let this go.

Repeat this until you feel a new sense of freedom and lightness around your issue.  It may take awhile, but however long it takes, do it, because if you want to be free, you have to put in the time.

Keep working on yourself, and little by little you too can live a rich, full, authentic life.

<—— Did this article help you? If so, it would mean a lot to me if you would share it with others!!! And, share your comments below!  I would LOVE to know more about you and your thoughts on this subject!

Let’s have some conversation!

EXPECT Success!

By Lynn Huber

lynn huber

p.s.  Imagine what our world would be like if everyone loved themselves so much that we weren’t threatened by other people’s opinions or skin colors, sexual preferences, talents, education, possessions (or lack of), religious beliefs, customs, and on and on and on!

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