But the truth is we actually create our own circumstances through our mind. Sometimes we have subconscious beliefs that we picked up when we were a child. And these can cause us to sabotage our efforts now.
In order to overcome this, we first have to use conscious awareness to explore our emotions and fears and understand how they influence our actions. Once we have determined the cause of our behavior, then we can take steps to prevent it from happening again.
But what’s really happening when we sabotage ourselves?
Maybe we have a subconscious fear that comes up when we’re working to get what we want.
Maybe somehow we learned that we weren’t worth it. Or maybe we have an unconscious need for safety and protection.
For instance, let’s look at losing weight. Many people have struggled with their weight for years. They’ve tried diet after diet and just can’t seem to lose the weight or keep it off. They keep trying harder and harder, but they’re just not getting there. More than likely, they have something in their subconscious holding them back. It’s possible that something in their childhood caused them to be afraid for their safety. That extra weight is providing a sense of protection and security for them. So subconsciously, they might sabotage their diet efforts in order to remain safe. Consciously they’re doing all the right things, but your subconscious mind has more control than you think.
Many people might start a home business but deep down they have a belief that they can’t do it, or they’re not worthy enough… or even something like rich people are mean people. Any of these can keep you from doing the things necessary to have success in your business. They say they want success. They believe they want it. But then they find an excuse to not work on it today. Or they forget to follow-up, or any number of little things that could hurt their business. Subconsciously, they sabotage their efforts to build their home business so they don’t have to face the fears that are hidden deep down.
Does this describe you? Have you sabotaged yourself in the past? Are you still doing it now? Are you not able to move forward with your goals, no matter how hard you try?
Fortunately we CAN overcome self sabotage. The most important step to stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to recognize that it’s happening. Develop a conscious awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
If you’ve been struggling with a certain goal and things just don’t seem to be working out for you, take a look at the setbacks that were encountered and evaluate the situation. Could any of the obstacles have been avoided by making wiser choices on your part? Are there a significantly high number of obstacles that have arisen for this one particular goal? If so, you may be self-sabotaging yourself.
A great way to get in touch with your subconscious mind is by spending time in quiet meditation. Ask yourself what you’re afraid of. What fears do you have? What uncertainties? What makes you feel uncomfortable about this goal? For what reasons would you try to hold yourself back? Using a journal to write these questions and answers can help too, because writing can help you to connect with the deepest part of yourself. It might take time and practice, but exploring these possibilities can dramatically help you to get out of the self-sabotage rut.
When we finally understand that we are in control of our own success, we will be set free from all limitations! By developing clarity and insight about the outcomes we want to create, and the awareness for potential setbacks, we can stop the self-sabotage and focus our energies on working toward new goals that we will fully support in every way. We will then look back one day and see that instead of being our own worst saboteur, we have become our best supporter.
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Let’s have some conversation!
By Lynn Huber
p.s. Stop trying to fit in, and start being you. Question the way you think, behave and believe right now. Explore where those beliefs came from and identify them as a positive or negative in your life. Let go of the ones that are not helping you, and replace them with ones that will help you move forward.
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