Oh the Drama We Create for Ourselves
It’s amazing how we, as humans, seem to like to create drama for ourselves.
My friend, Jordan Adler, talks about how a fly will bang himself against a window over and over and over again, not realizing that there is an open door just six inches to the right of the window.
So many of us are just like that.
We know what we want and nearly kill ourselves trying to get it in a way that’s not working.
Meanwhile, if we just stopped, got quiet for a minute or two, and looked at things a little differently, we’d notice the door to what we want being held open for us by the nice lady across the room. Then all we’d need to do is fly through it.
We’re so deeply wrapped up in our stories – I don’t have the money, I’m not good enough, I can’t quit my job, I’m lazy, I have bad hair – trudging through life with our heads down and clinging to our false beliefs so that we prevent ourselves from seeing the literally infinite sea of possibilities and opportunities that surround us at every single moment.
There Are So Many Things We Just Don’t Notice
Have you ever walked down a street that you’ve walked down a million times and suddenly noticed a house or a tree or a mailbox or something else totally obvious and in-your-face that you’ve never noticed before?
That’s just an example of what we’re not noticing that we can see.
There’s also an infinite amount of emotions and thoughts and beliefs and interpretations and sounds and dreams and opportunities and smells and points of view and ways to feel good and responses and non-responses and things to say and ways to help, that we’re not seeing.
We’re so set in our ways and committed to our stories about who we are and what our reality looks like, we only scratch the very surface of all that’s available to us every single moment.
Meanwhile, we’re totally surrounded by countless awesome versions of reality, and they’re all just hanging around waiting for us to notice them.
All we have to do is make the choice to let go of everything we’re so attached to that’s not serving us and manifest the reality that we want.
Life is an illusion created by our perception, and it can be changed the moment we choose to change it.
This is something I struggle with just like you, and change is not going to happen overnight.
Together, let’s commit to releasing our attachment to low-frequency thoughts and experiences, trust that the Universe LOVES US, let go of our fears, and head bravely into the unknown.
Here are some ideas to help us get started:
Become Aware of What Your Stories Are –
We call these stories because they are just that. They are not the truth. And they can be rewritten.
You’re the author of your own life – not your parents, not society, not your partner, not your friends, not the kids who picked on you in elementary school – and the sooner you decide to write yourself a better script, the sooner you get to live a more awesome life.
Listen to yourself and what stories you tell yourself. We get so used to, and so identify with, our broken records that we don’t even notice they exist or that they’re not even real. And yet, we’ll fight to the death to uphold our nontruths.
Listen specifically for sentences that begin with:
I always . . .
I never . . .
I can’t . . .
I should . . .
I suck at . . .
I wish . . .
I want (as opposed to I will and I am) . . .
I don’t have . . .
One day . . .
I’m trying to . . .
One good place to catch yourself in a story is by looking at the areas in your life that are sagging. If you’re constantly angry, maybe your story is, “Nobody understands me.” If you’re always overweight, maybe your story is, “I have no self-discipline.”
Start paying attention. What are your favorite, self-sabotaging stories?
What do you hear yourself think and say over and over again that has become who you are (or rather who you think you are)? It’s time to break the records right now so that you can set about rewriting your stories and create the kind of life you love.
Become Aware of What You’re Gaining From Your Stories –
We pretty much don’t ever do anything that we don’t benefit from somehow, be it in a healthy way or an unhealthy way.
Let’s say that your story is that you can’t make money. By staying broke, you get to be right. You get to be the victim, which makes you dependent on other people and brings you attention.
We don’t realize it, but we’re making the perks we get from perpetuating our stories more important than getting the things we really want because it’s familiar territory. It’s what we’re comfortable with and we’re scared to let it go.
Once you identify the false benefits you’re reaping from holding onto your stories, you can start the process of letting them go and replace them with new empowered ones that serve the adult you.
Get Rid of Your Stories –
Once you know what the beast looks like, you can slay it.
Take your list of “cant’s” and “should” and “I nevers”, etc., and write them in a journal. And really feel in your body what you’re getting from those old limiting beliefs. Make a list of these false rewards. Really push yourself to get them all onto paper.
Now, look at your list of false rewards for what they really are – scared little parts of yourself acting out. Thank them for trying to protect you and for keeping you company, but tell them it’s time to run along now.
Then replace those feelings you got from these false rewards with the feelings of joy and power and excitement that stepping into who you truly are and who you’re now becoming will bring.
Keep writing about what it looks and feels like to have the real, adult you replace that old childhood story. Feel it. Get excited by it. Then make the decision that you’re ready to change and take positive action in the direction you want to go.
Nothing in the world is permanent, including our stories. Yet we try to hold onto them for false security, which ultimately leads to sorrow and loss. Be willing to let go. Keep reinventing your story as you continue to grow.
Take Action –
Once you’ve gotten clear on your story and have done the energy work above, take action.
If you were once depressed but have decided to let it go, stop listening to melancholy music, stop talking about how lousy you feel, stop pretending that putting on your bathrobe counts as getting dressed, etc.
Instead, focus on the good and do the things you love to do – make an effort instead of collapsing into the familiar feeling of being depressed. Keep working on it. With time it will become easier.
Get Out of Your Routine –
Talk to strangers. Wear something different. Go to a new grocery store. Make dinner for someone who you want to get to know better.
Notice five awesome things you’ve never noticed about your home, your beliefs, your mother, your face.
Do things that pull you out of your routine and you’ll be amazed by the new realities that were there all along that suddenly present themselves.
Sidestep the Spiral –
It’s OK to feel sad, but don’t blow it up into some huge drama.
If something goes wrong in your life, feel it, learn from it, let it go, and get back to focusing on the life you’re excited to live.
It won’t be easy. But with time, you’ll find a new way of being – one that will allow you to have the success you’ve been trying so hard to achieve.
If you’re looking for an internet business that will let you work online from the comfort of your home, have more time with your family, and make a great income while doing so, watch the video below and see what I recommend.
…You might be surprised by what you see. It’s working for me, and thousands of others out there online.
And, if you already have a business you’re happy with, I will still cheer you on!
Let’s have some conversation!
By Lynn Huber
p.s. It won’t be easy. But with time, you’ll find a new way of being – one that will allow you to have the success you’ve been trying so hard to achieve.
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